Friday, May 17, 2019

Some thoughts on abortion and how this world is in shambles

Very rarely do I post anything related to current events. Here's why: all the hot topics make people crazy. Friendships and family relationships are broken because of the stances people take on these issues. That's wild to me. It's wild to me that the current climate in this world, especially this country, is such that someone's belief about something doesn't usually lead to a mature conversation, it leads to people spouting what they believe without truly listening to what the other is saying and then relationships are irreparably damaged. A person's stance on a single topic can cause others to make assumptions about their entire personhood. When did this happen? How did we end up like this? I recently went to a panel on anti-racism and one of the panelists said that we will never be able to move forward until we learn to have empathy for those who don't look like us. And I think that this gets to the heart of a ton of the current issues. At their core, the issues aren't about abortion, race, politics, or immigration; the issue is that we don't have empathy for people who don't look, think, or live like we do. When someone says or does something that I don't agree with, this culture tells me that I have every right to ignore their words and to think of them as lesser human beings; I have every right to spout hate at them; I have every right to define their entire personhood by that one belief that they hold or by that one action that they took. What?! How is this not what everyone is talking about? How is this not what advocates for change are pushing for? 
I say all this because I think it's applicable to most all the crazy things happening in this world and country right now, but also because I want to establish that it's from this mindset that I'm writing what's next.
I don't think that abortions should happen. I think it's heartbreaking that women so often find themselves pregnant and unready or unwilling to bring that child into this world. But I don't think these restrictive laws will do anything whatsoever to address the reasons women find themselves in these situations, nor will they provide any support for the women forced to have these babies. I think that abortions will always happen, regardless of the laws surrounding them. I think that by taking away safe ways for women to have abortions, we're saying that the life of their baby is more important than theirs. I think that especially by only addressing abortions themselves and not putting any efforts into sex education, more accessible contraception, and social services for women who might not want to get an abortion but feel like it's the only real option for them, we're not actually valuing the lives involved, we're valuing our birthrate. I think that by making abortions entirely a women's issue and completely ignoring the role men play in getting women pregnant (I'll give you a hint, it's usually equal, if not more, than than the role women play), we're giving men a pass and backtracking so, so, so, so, so, so far in the work women and men alike have put into women's rights and equality over the years. I don't think that excluding women who have had or are planning to have abortions from the group we call "us" is the way to address the reasons there are so many abortions performed each year. I don't think abortion is right, but I do stuff that isn't right all the time, so who am I to judge?
I've seen so many memes and posts on social media in the last few days that have really resonated with me. I've seen things like "Hey GOP, these kids [in detention centers at the border] have a heartbeat, where's the legislation to protect them?"--"Why are we so adamant that a fetus is a human being when we're still not sure if African Americans are?"--"If men could get pregnant, abortions would be readily available at every gas station." This is trash. This shouldn't be. We don't have an abortion problem, we have an empathy for others problem.   
Are we fighting for issues or are we fighting for people? There's a huge difference.
   

4 comments:

  1. Hey--let's have a mature conversation about this!

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  2. First of all, let's both start where we agree: you and I both believe that abortions should not happen. We also agree in that it is really messed up when men "disappear" from an issue of responsibility whereas women cannot. That is abandonment and it is garbage. I think we both also agree that, well, should pregnant men have arranged to install an abortion "dispenser" at every gas station, then, well, that would be really messed up, too.

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  3. So I would think that we mostly agree, and yet you end up saying we ought not make abortion illegal, whereas I would argue (adamantly) the opposite. So what happened? If we mostly agree, then how did we arrive at such drastically different conclusions?
    I think you pointed out the answer to this question early on in your article:
    it is a question of empathy. And then, in your article, you directed us to empathize for women, for the children on the other side of the border, etc.
    But I would suggest that we need to go yet further in our outreach of empathy.
    I'm sure you can predict where I'm headed with this, but, nonetheless, I ask you--for I do believe that in your heart, you long for truth--the following:
    https://www.liveaction.org/news/pathologist-horrified-after-seeing-late-term-aborted-baby/

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    Replies
    1. I think what's happening is we're both arguing for empathy, but for different parties involved in the equation. I'm arguing for empathy for these women because, while I'm sure there are plenty of women who sleep around willy nilly and just figure they'll get an abortion if they get knocked up, I think a larger portion of women get abortions because they feel there's no other way. I don't think that banning abortions in our current system will do much to cut down on the number of abortions happening, I think it will just result in the deaths of a lot of women. I also think that the abortions that are avoided, again with our current system for managing children in the foster and adoptive systems, will turn into more kids who don't have a loving family around them.
      I think this is such a difficult topic (for so many reasons!) because of exactly what we're talking about right now: we both agree on so much until we get to the conclusion, then we're on opposite ends of the spectrum. I truly would not have a problem with abortion being outlawed if there were systems in place to make sure those kids were covered in love, but that's simply not the case right now. I have to believe that aborted babies get to be with Jesus, which by no means makes it all ok, but I would much rather place my hope in these kids being wrapped up in the love of Jesus and never have to know heartbreak and rejection than to see MORE kids put into the garbage situations so many kiddos are already in.

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