From Here to There: January 2014

I went with my brother, Steve, last week to Missouri Valley, IA to visit our grandparents. Somehow we always manage to make the trip in the winter and find ourselves wondering why we don't come when it's at least warm enough to walk from the house to the car without feeling like your nose is going to freeze and fall off your face. But that's beside the point. We always try to visit our grandparents about once a year, especially since their health has been deteriorating more rapidly. They are staying in a nursing home where they have excellent care (and I hear the food's not too bad either), and up until about 2 weeks ago they were in a room together which they referred to as their apartment. My grandma, though, had to be moved to Memory Lane for more constant/specialized care. Her wing of the nursing home is just a short walk down the hall from Grandpa's room and he makes the trip down there multiple times a day to see her.

Grandma spends the majority of her days sleeping in a recliner in the common room of her wing. When she's awake she still seems extremely cloudy in her mind. Conversing with her is no longer a real possibility, as one is lucky to get one or two sentences out of her that make any sense. She usually just stares off into nothing or babbles with words that make no sense together. Her vision is nearly non-existent. She needs help to stand, use the bathroom, and eat. Seeing her like this was one of the hardest things I've done in a long time; memories of my childhood with her and Grandpa filled my mind, memories of playing Scrabble and Chinese checkers, having Bible stories read to me, working in the garden, singing, cooking (especially those pancakes with rubber rings!), pulling pranks on one or the other. I had a truly blessed childhood with the greatest grandparents anyone could ever ask for!

Steve played his mandolin often

Grandpa is, understandably, a bit lost. He no longer lives with his wife of over 60 years and doesn't quite know what to do with himself. Physically I think he's doing pretty well. Mentally.....his memory is failing him quite terribly. As expected, he often asked us the same questions over and over again: how old are you now? How tall are you getting to be? What day are you leaving? Did you fly here? How long was the flight? Is it cold out today? But those questions, while a little trying after the 6th or 7th time being asked, are a welcome part of getting to spend time with him. The part that breaks your heart every time is when he thinks that Grandma is in the hospital and she'll maybe be better by next week, when he's mad at the nursing home and doctors for not letting Grandma live with him because he said "til' death do us part" not "til' nursing home do us part," when he tells you he doesn't eat or sleep much because he's worried about Grandma, and the worst: when he's near to tears because he's not sure Grandma knows who he is. He still preaches at the nursing home church service every Sunday, he still has good jokes and loves to have a laugh (and some doughnuts) with you, he's still the most generous man I've ever known, and for that I am so grateful to our wonderful God.

Despite how difficult it was to see them so much worse than they were just a year ago, I consider myself the second richest woman in the world (my grandma is the richest, of course!). I got to spend a week with two of the people in my life who I have the fondest memories with, who I've learned so so so so so much from. I got to see them sing together again, even though neither of them remember all the words to those old hymns anymore. My grandma called me Lisa-deese one day when we came and I knew she knew me, even if she couldn't see me. I got to see what over 60 years of marriage looks like, watching my grandpa walk over and kiss my grandma on the forehead, tell her that he loves her, and then just sit there holding her hand while she sleeps. I got to tell both of my grandparents that I love them before I left; if anything ever happens to them I won't have to fret about my last words to them. I have truly been blessed in my life.

Sarah's daughter, Maddie, playing with Grandpa

Lunch with Helen, Lyle, Steve, me, Grandpa, Janice, and Bruce

On top of the wonderful chance to spend time with my grandparents, we were hosted by our aunt, Janice, and her amazing husband, Bruce. I'm not kidding, they're the best hosts ever!!! Getting to hang out with them is always a big highlight of going over there. We had the chance to go to Omaha just to walk around in the beautiful sunshine on Sunday (65 degrees!!!!! But all the other days were cold), we ate amazing food, cracked jokes, got pedicures (well, only Aunt Janice and I did that), and just chilled at home. On top of great times with them, we got to spend some time with Sarah and Maddie, Lyle, and my good friend Matt, who I met in Guatemala (we both agreed it's a little weird to hang out state-side). I don't know if I want to eat out for quite a while now, but it was wonderful to spend time with people we love. We were so blessed to have the opportunity to visit our grandparents again, even though they've seen much better days, they too were blessed by our visit. I can't imagine what my life would have been like without them and I still don't know why God chose me as the person He'd give the best grandparents ever to.